58 Comments
User's avatar
Richbee's avatar

Exposed yellow flow-ers petals are to be picked and placed on a mat to shine fearsome growls in the dead of night that flow out of lions teeth and the fear goes away sharply stained by bites that chew through the skin taunt tightly together a sinew in time, a knot in rhyme to flow into laces ties that bind faces ripped together again.

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Thank you, Richard

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment removed
Jun 12, 2024
Comment removed
Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

😁😁👏

Expand full comment
Stanley Wotring's avatar

The movement of life force, directional yet amorphous at the same time.

Expand full comment
Andee Scarantino's avatar

"What if I pursued you into the night? What if I could translate fear into a thing of dust and ground glass?"

Wow.... Beautiful

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Thank you, Andee!

Expand full comment
Thomas D’Arcy O’Donnell's avatar

.. “beautiful” - i don’t understand why.. or what a ‘thing of dust & ground glass is ..

it’s not my place to critique poetry.. having little or no ‘standing whatsoever.. haha

but it’s often suggested am pretty cryptic myself - re ‘certain ‘voicing(s) i can & do deploy

the ‘thought visible in the initial stanzas ‘layout is important in my view..

Duly noted when a poet defies the ‘left justified bird caging..

& free themselves somehow from the crude limitations inherent in the App & Web

Have also asked Paul - ‘when is a poem ‘done’ - ie ‘The Final Revision or ‘Tweak’ !

ie - Do ‘questions or comments influence his Poems - after becoming published ?

And if that’s ’being a tough crowd.. amen ! There must be a reason why he appears

every single morning upon clicking ‘Home’ either first or among the first 3 or 4

(i ask a lot of questions.. when i don’t understand something.. it’s childlike .. I know ! 🦎🏴‍☠️

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Thank you for your comments, Thomas. I suppose a poem is ‘done’ if I never feel the need to go back and rewrite or tweak it into something it never was. I like the idea of once and done so a revisit will generally result in a new poem. I don’t object to criticism so long as it’s meaningful in some way. I don’t think I have ever gone back and rewritten something because of reader comments but I do try to keep valid points in mind when I write new pieces.

Expand full comment
Thomas D’Arcy O’Donnell's avatar

.. thanks Paul.. & never a worry.. You’re among the very few here that are ‘responsive to childlike curiosity..

So yes.. the pursuit.. i ‘got’ but ‘dust & ground glass..’ has me stymied - as ‘ground glass means a lot to me

What does ‘ground glass - mean to you ?

I have only one of my poem’s posted.. re our late barn cat Buttons - buried in our ‘best saddle blanket..

Was askin a lot here.. expecting folks to invest 30 seconds & ‘he of the jackrabbit takedown etc is kinda cryptic

but that’s OK - my big sis Ellen read it to her Book Group.. and they broke out in tears (not my intention !

& pestered her to explain further.. re jackrabbit & horse paddock.. the hay mow, & big hill..

Think ol Buttons got a single ‘like - here in substack.. screw em .. he ‘ruled the barn.. kickass tough !

Expand full comment
Thomas D’Arcy O’Donnell's avatar

.. haha - will go look up ‘ground glass.. utilizing my ‘reading glasses ..

Have seen - then shot - well over 1/2 million images via ‘ground glass’

& presumably was some ‘dust generated during the ‘grinding & polishing stages

.. so have an ‘inkling.. & am 100% certain you need no explanation what an ‘inkling might be

as opposed to an ‘earthling or an ‘inkstain haha ! Keep up the fine work m’man

ya keep me grinnin.. 🦎🏴‍☠️🔎

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

I go where the pen takes me, Thomas and there are plenty of odd stops along the way.

Expand full comment
Richbee's avatar

Ground glass has been known to be put in food to cause bleeding and perhaps a silent death.

Expand full comment
Thomas D’Arcy O’Donnell's avatar

.. yes - there’s legend of such haha.. but it’s ’Paul’s Privilege haha - to ‘spill.. & aside from the pleasure of his work - a delight for a mischievous pirate to give a poke to ! Note how adroitly he still evades the central question ! 🦎🏴‍☠️🇨🇦

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

You think I can explain everything I write, Thomas?

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Thank you, Richard

Expand full comment
Andee Scarantino's avatar

You know... I think suspension bridges are beautiful. I can't tell you why. I could make up a story as to why, but... It won't be able to tell you. And you might find a mountain beautiful, or lush green beautiful, or a hot dog stand beautiful. Whatever Paul's words are here, they touched some unconscious part of my record of living that sparked emotion. I use the word beautiful because there's no other word to use to convey that reality.

Expand full comment
Thomas D’Arcy O’Donnell's avatar

.. beautiful !

Expand full comment
TheUltraContemplative's avatar

Paul, the beauty of reading your poetry is that I have to read it aloud several times, emphasizing different points every time. "What if I clawed away your mask to reveal an acid-breathed skin-shriveler, crippled with darkness, for whom terror is only a crutch, fear the only truth?" This line, this right here, gets me every time. Thanks again for sharing your gift, Paul.

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Thanks, Steve, sometimes I have to read them twice myself

Expand full comment
Pam Mcnutt's avatar

Breathtakingly painful…beautifully written…finding myself shook, once again.

Expand full comment
david wells's avatar

Beautiful words flow from Paul.

Expand full comment
LaNita Jones's avatar

Nice.

What if Jonah had pulled out his sword and started slashing at the fish bladder?

Maybe Jonah used both a Shofar and Conch to find a pocket to breathe.

Conch for Vespers

Expand full comment
Patris's avatar

Chasing a ghost or a woman, you mix dread and desire here, Paul. Seeming effortless in stirring wonder at possibilities.

Expand full comment
Teyani Whitman's avatar

This kind of writing is the stuff of nightmares for me. 🫣

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

I don’t mean to scare you off, Teyani!

Expand full comment
Teyani Whitman's avatar

I don’t know about that Paul….

Expand full comment
Leon Brown, Jr.'s avatar

Wow! Excellent.

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Thank you. Leon - I’m happy you’re here to read it.

Expand full comment
Tinabeth Chapman's avatar

Good poem

Expand full comment
Pamela Leavey's avatar

So powerful Paul!

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

You see how things can turn mid-poem? Sort of like life.

Expand full comment
Pamela Leavey's avatar

Just like life!

Expand full comment
Petrena Wilbur's avatar

Powerful.

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Thank you, Petrena

Expand full comment
Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

Soft morning…

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Thank you, Jennifer

Expand full comment
Frederick Fullerton's avatar

Moving poem that flows beautifully. Thanks for sharing.

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Thank you, Frederick

Expand full comment
LeeAnn Pickrell's avatar

Wow!

Expand full comment
Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Thank you, LeeAnn

Expand full comment