A poem called water slips through your fingers washing you clean of the everyday you pick up along the way the grease the grime the all-the-time running back and forth the running hard for all it’s worth all the things that make you cry or laugh a smile a kiss the ache that makes you want a bath and a poem called water slips through your fingers
I think this has the makings of being something special - with a little more work. Not that it isn't real or evocative as it is but simply that I feel it could be so much more. I mean no harshness or detraction from what you've written so far but to me it seems closer to a first draft than the accomplishment of a stimulating and motivating thought or realisation of words offering an enchanting metaphor for life, as well as an actual need.
Water reflection of our selves to see a few ripple- wrinkles timely placed after splashing in mud puddles in our lives. Luckily mud settles and the water can be cleaned enough to see the bottom if we get close enough take time to bend over and bow down to nature.
I find this very much a call and response to feelings we all share. Not only do you evoke but through these words invite the reader of these words to remember.
I like the idea that poetry can evoke feelings in a reader - it sort of proves that we are not all that different from one another—that we’re not alone in what we feel. Thanks for such a wonderful comment, Patris.
Perhaps poets are sent out into the world to remind us of our essential natures - in all it complexities, that we share it - and that it is the prime directive in all we will or should do in our lives.
This is about as close as a poem itself can get to that pre-poetic sense of beauty, that feeling of presence and noticing that happens just before words or thoughts can form. Very well done.
Paul, I really, really love this. Like the water, your words are fluid and flow. Thank you for sharing this 🫶
Thank you, Penny!
No worries
Yes, water means life, for both body and soul.
Thank you, Maureen!
Elemental!
It is kind of elemental, isn't it, Stan? Thank you!
I think this has the makings of being something special - with a little more work. Not that it isn't real or evocative as it is but simply that I feel it could be so much more. I mean no harshness or detraction from what you've written so far but to me it seems closer to a first draft than the accomplishment of a stimulating and motivating thought or realisation of words offering an enchanting metaphor for life, as well as an actual need.
Take care. Stay safe. ☮️
Water reflection of our selves to see a few ripple- wrinkles timely placed after splashing in mud puddles in our lives. Luckily mud settles and the water can be cleaned enough to see the bottom if we get close enough take time to bend over and bow down to nature.
Always bow down to Nature.
beautiful paul!
Thank you, chloe—Happy to hear from you again. Hope you’re doing well!
I find this very much a call and response to feelings we all share. Not only do you evoke but through these words invite the reader of these words to remember.
I like the idea that poetry can evoke feelings in a reader - it sort of proves that we are not all that different from one another—that we’re not alone in what we feel. Thanks for such a wonderful comment, Patris.
Perhaps poets are sent out into the world to remind us of our essential natures - in all it complexities, that we share it - and that it is the prime directive in all we will or should do in our lives.
We take water for granted until we have a shortage or bad water. Good one, Paul!
Really, really good!
Thank you, Pete!
It flows just like water; now it’s here and now it’s gone. Really good Paul.
Thank you, V.P. for reading and commenting—Enjoy hearing from you!
This is about as close as a poem itself can get to that pre-poetic sense of beauty, that feeling of presence and noticing that happens just before words or thoughts can form. Very well done.
Thank you, Mike.
Thanks, Mike
Thanks to @Francesca Vivoli for this restack!
Thank you kindly for restacking this, @Saumya Sharma
Grateful to @Victory Palace for this restock—Thank you!
I appreciate this restack from @KMPatriot—Thank You!
Grateful to @Ayesha A. for this restack—Thank You!