There's a place where they hand out the faces but the faces they all look the same There’s a watch where the sweep hand erases every moment that you never came There’s a mirror that casts its reflections like a movie that’s shown on a screen and your friends seem to talk just like actors waiting in line for their scenes There’s a river that swallows the moonlight as it flows toward an ocean of sun where your sailors fall deaf to the sirens and ignore every song that they’ve sung and I dream I’m your captive at midnight with a mistress who cries out my name from the bedroom of love and redemption where I once tried to hide all my shame but I’m shackled to some stubborn promise that I’ll keep till you come back to me bring your knife and that miserable hangman only then will I call myself free
I read this and then read it again aloud. Wonderful rhythm, imagery. And sensed a strong desire to read it with an Irish accent for some reason. Huh.Thanks.
This one is so rich. The cadence is lyrical. Ahhhhh. The line that pulls me in is:
There’s a river that swallows the moonlight as it flows toward an ocean of sun
Thank you, wonderful word crafter, for this amazing line.
Sometimes I wonder what urges people to decipher a poem (when they don’t do it elsewhere, as in an essay). Is it because the poet remains shrouded behind the words? With the readers not knowing which aspect of the poem he is? Or could it simply be years of obstuse English teachers that drove us all to insanity?
Stunning masculine sensitivity and sensibility, mind and heart and soul pouring out to be heard and felt. I’m feeling the primal flaming arrow, Sir Paul. Poetry at its best, poetry is remedy. Geraldine
Dramatic Lament with facial gestures waiting, mirror mask’s reflection before a walk on role cast to redeem a story once told. A knife in the back; a love triangle ; a mystery made and the audience in silence sees the denouement unfold with unresolved issues a hung jury to decide. The performance gets rave reviews and cast the applause.
I didn’t intend it as a song but the lines move as if it could be. The 10/9 syllable structure allows the lines to flow with a 7-syllable break at the end of the third verse. It does echo Cohen in his song Take This Waltz, dedicated to and celebrating Federico Garcia Lorca, but there is no chorus.
Great poem Paul . I really loved it read it a few times . keep up your awesome work , peace to you and your readers
I read this and then read it again aloud. Wonderful rhythm, imagery. And sensed a strong desire to read it with an Irish accent for some reason. Huh.Thanks.
Thank you, Mary. Irish accent? Why not?
This one is so rich. The cadence is lyrical. Ahhhhh. The line that pulls me in is:
There’s a river that swallows the moonlight as it flows toward an ocean of sun
Thank you, wonderful word crafter, for this amazing line.
Sometimes I wonder what urges people to decipher a poem (when they don’t do it elsewhere, as in an essay). Is it because the poet remains shrouded behind the words? With the readers not knowing which aspect of the poem he is? Or could it simply be years of obstuse English teachers that drove us all to insanity?
Thank you, Teyani
That second, third or fourth life, of thousands. Does it matter that we somehow remember pieces of one or the other, the longing is the same.
I think that’s true, Patris
What choice do we have after all?
Lost in love.
That one sings, Paul
Thank you, Charles
“There’s a river
that swallows
the moonlight
as it flows
toward
an ocean of sun
where your sailors
fall deaf
to the sirens
and ignore
every song
that they’ve sung”
A wonderful poem. Especially this. I can visualize a masterpiece in paint.🎨
Thank you for reading and commenting, Lor—the lines you quoted in your comment are some of my favorites.
Stunning masculine sensitivity and sensibility, mind and heart and soul pouring out to be heard and felt. I’m feeling the primal flaming arrow, Sir Paul. Poetry at its best, poetry is remedy. Geraldine
Thanks for reading and commenting, Geraldine!
Dramatic Lament with facial gestures waiting, mirror mask’s reflection before a walk on role cast to redeem a story once told. A knife in the back; a love triangle ; a mystery made and the audience in silence sees the denouement unfold with unresolved issues a hung jury to decide. The performance gets rave reviews and cast the applause.
Thank you, Richard
Miserable hangman, indeed!
..it's a song, right? I even feel like I know the melody
reminds me of Leonard Cohen for some reason. the melody.
love it, song or not, my melody's right or not-thank you for sharing this, Paul
PS btw-something of a parallel again...faint, but there...
I didn’t intend it as a song but the lines move as if it could be. The 10/9 syllable structure allows the lines to flow with a 7-syllable break at the end of the third verse. It does echo Cohen in his song Take This Waltz, dedicated to and celebrating Federico Garcia Lorca, but there is no chorus.
yes.."Take This Waltz" melody.
*the original words are by Lorca, as far as I remember-don't want to doubleck now, maybe later-want to stay in magic some more
Really enjoyed the words and the flow! The last 4 lines kind of threw me off.....
Speaker is being cynical, maybe?
Love the rhythm, Paul💙
Thank you, Diane!
💙
Fantastic! 🧡
Thank you, Stella!
I agree with you Paul that most everyone knows heartbreak. For me, this poem captured its’ depth in an extra powerful way. Daniel
Beautiful…My mind danced through this one. 💕
Thank you, Pam!