In the twilight of a fading day, memories merge with the sun’s last ray, and time spins on the spring of an old man’s watch, echoing the past with each tick and tock. Chiming the hour as he walks the street, silence surrounds him, profound and sweet. Each house stands still, a witness to time.
I feel this poem, the walk, the rhythm and rhyme of the houses he passes, each object just so. Time is a thing that mystifies all of us, I think. Is it real, an illusion? Science can't tell us. The infinite, I think, is a better fit.
Thank you for your comment, Deborah. I think what is mystifying about time is that we seem to live in it, like fish in water, but it’s a something we all experience differently.
I pictured you on your morning walk, embracing your thoughts, fears, acceptance, of your impending mortality on this, your birthday. As many of us realize we have less years ahead of us then what is behind us now, we contemplate our gratefulness through good and bad, and hope we have lived a life doing the best we could and as we age remain relevant. Happy Birthday Paul! Your poems are just one of the talents that keeps you relevant and relatable to so many others. Loved this one.
it’s always ‘easy to spot potential ‘tweaks.. long after the hard work is done.. but i’ve a sharp & considerate eye.. & ‘rereads & revisions of my own stuff is a neverending process..
Few know my background in ‘Writing was primarily Corporate & Educational.. ‘Revisions ?’ Are you kidding ! My Draft #27 for the Toronto Stock Exchange IPO - Going Public on the World Exchanges - arrived back to the Sound Studio with multiple Sign Offs.. but I noticed the last four pages out of Sixteen in total were missing.. ? !
I said nothing - & we recorded Draft #26 - which was then translated for World Distribution.. 🦎🏴☠️🎬
I feel this poem, the walk, the rhythm and rhyme of the houses he passes, each object just so. Time is a thing that mystifies all of us, I think. Is it real, an illusion? Science can't tell us. The infinite, I think, is a better fit.
Thank you for your comment, Deborah. I think what is mystifying about time is that we seem to live in it, like fish in water, but it’s a something we all experience differently.
This so great. I am not great literary terms but this piece lies on the border between poetry and prose giving you the best of both worlds.
Thanks, Stan
Boy can I relate to this one Paul[ nice work!
Thank you, David!
Oh my. Your poem profoundly captures time and memory, weaving them into a tender narrative. It's a hauntingly beautiful reflection that speaks to me.
I’m so happy this resonated with you, Gloria. Thank you for your comment.
Time, that old and infinite tyranny!
I pictured you on your morning walk, embracing your thoughts, fears, acceptance, of your impending mortality on this, your birthday. As many of us realize we have less years ahead of us then what is behind us now, we contemplate our gratefulness through good and bad, and hope we have lived a life doing the best we could and as we age remain relevant. Happy Birthday Paul! Your poems are just one of the talents that keeps you relevant and relatable to so many others. Loved this one.
Thank you, Sharon, for such a thoughtful comment. Things are returning to normal and we’ll move on.
Beautiful. The second hand functionally is connected to the actual operability of the watch; if it won't spin the watch is dead.
Keep writing; really good stuff!
Thank you, Leomhann
We are all slaves to time. We complain that there's never enough of it and yet, we waste so much of it, Paul.
Wonderful. It evokes questions within me of how the old man is feeling. It could be so many things..
Thank you for the comment, Teyani, and for the support—I’m grateful
A welcoming and inviting poem Sir Paul, moving through space awareing in the moment pouring forth the power of conscious. A poem that counsels! G
Thank you, Geraldine
The imagery you used with the watch helps tell the whole story. Beautifully executed. Thanks, Paul.
Thank you, Monia
That moment never tells us when it will arrive, but we still wonder. Perhaps only when we stop, we’ll meet it.
We’ll meet it and know that it’s been with us all along. Thank you, Patris, for your support!
Oh wow, I LOVE this one, Paul. I’m speechless.
Thank you, Mike—I can’t picture you without words!
I fully identify with what one, Paul.
Thank you, Charles!
Beautiful ❤️
Thank you, java!
.. ‘he wonders if the chime..
it’s there i lost the ‘pace - flow - that verse
Will go back - give’r a 4th or 5th rerun of it
but wondering about your ‘writing / editing process
.. when we say haha.. ‘That’s it ! Done as done can be !
a baseball analogy for us all - might be .. hmm
the linear difference - the ‘distance between ..
A very deep ‘fly out - snatched at the wall ..
vs GameWinning Home Run by inches..
really love where the poem is going ! 🦎🏴☠️
Thank you, Thomas, for taking the time to read and comment, I appreciate you!
it’s always ‘easy to spot potential ‘tweaks.. long after the hard work is done.. but i’ve a sharp & considerate eye.. & ‘rereads & revisions of my own stuff is a neverending process..
Few know my background in ‘Writing was primarily Corporate & Educational.. ‘Revisions ?’ Are you kidding ! My Draft #27 for the Toronto Stock Exchange IPO - Going Public on the World Exchanges - arrived back to the Sound Studio with multiple Sign Offs.. but I noticed the last four pages out of Sixteen in total were missing.. ? !
I said nothing - & we recorded Draft #26 - which was then translated for World Distribution.. 🦎🏴☠️🎬